I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
