handjob tips. give me some.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
