New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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