He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
