she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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