Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
