i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
