Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
