Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
