I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Pooping to opera.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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