please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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