i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
