the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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