white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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