no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
