Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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