Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
