so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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