i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
