Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
