Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
try to milk me bitch
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
