Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize