I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
