I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
