Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
