i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
