so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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