I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
