Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
