the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
