i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A+ Viking dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize