dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
