It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
