im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
