I hate all girls vehemently.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
