Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
