i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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