He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I checked into jail on foursquare
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
