we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
