Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
