she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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