The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
