I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
