I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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