we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
