ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
