so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
