So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
