Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize