guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my shit smells like andre
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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