The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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