You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
