No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
