a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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