You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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