my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
