kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
