my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
