i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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