Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
