I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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