I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
